Diary of a People Watcher: Watch at Your Job

By Connect2Mason Blogger Brandon Weathers. Photo courtesy of Flickr user richardmasoner.

Jobs are some of the best places to people watch and build friendships around it. Depending on where people work, I’m sure they are introduced to a variety of personalities and body types.

In my life, it all goes back to coffee; coffee, gossip, and people watching go together like beer, cigarettes and making an ass out of yourself. Coffee, gossip, and people watching are fun when you are drinking coffee, but vital to one’s survival when you work at a coffee shop.

She walked in leaving her footprints in solid pavement and walked out leaving everyone with a great example of the irony of certain orders. Her eyes looked like she had just come down from a weeklong high from cocaine, and her mouth looked like a stroke victim. She ordered a large sugar free vanilla heavy whipping cream latte. I give the call and repeat the drink but substitute the sugar free part with regular vanilla. The girl at the bar steams the fat and the odor of burnt lard fills the room. The drink is handed off and the madness begins. Stroke face rambles about the drink and begins to harass us all for giving her regular vanilla instead of sugar free. Recognize a problem with this scenario?

First of all does the sugar part really matter when your drink has more calories than two big macs? I know you might be trying to watch your weight, but from the look of your ass I think that’s an already lost battle. Your drink makes just as much sense as getting a large diet coke after brutally consuming a weeks worth of cheeseburgers. A large diet drink will not prevent you from getting a lard filled ass.

As she walked away and her ass jiggled like Santa’s belly, the girl next to me said “Thank god I gave her decaf, and not to mention her milk is 220 degree’s… I hope she chokes.” The majority of people suck and if you learned anything from this decaffeinated experience its don’t bite the hand that feeds you.