The Prevalence of Male Sexual Assault
By Broadside Editor-in-Chief Nicole Ocran
- The following is an account of a male George Mason University student who was sexually assaulted in on-campus housing. His name has been changed to protect his identity.
Women are always seen as the face of sexual violence. We are all taught that women are raped and men cannot be dominated. This stereotype is being challenged every day.
Cameron, 21, is a survivor of male sexual assault. He was sodomized in on-campus housing by a male Mason student with whom he was in a relationship.
Rape is defined as unwanted, forced sexual intercourse (involving a penis and a vagina) with another individual. When two persons of the same sex encounter forced sex, it is termed ‘forced sodomy.’
“It was tough for me to report it because at the time I was dating the guy,” said Cameron.
He describes the incident as something out of “one of those bad teen movies” because his assailant got him very drunk and took advantage of him. “It was a very messed up relationship, everything happened way too fast, and [one of the things that lead up to] the end of our relationship was the assault . . . I just remember being so incapacitated and I didn’t know what to do. It was very sad . . . This is one of those experiences that unfortunately I don’t think I’ll ever forget.”
Cameron explains that there is always one part of an assault that you remember: a smell, a taste, a sound. For him, it was the light shining through the window from a nearby parking garage.
“I remember trying to escape. I remember just trying to crawl towards the light and just escape that room, and escape the situation, and you know, after that I passed out . . . I just remember this light just cascading over me, saying you know, you’re not dirty, you’re not—you didn’t want this, this isn’t your decision, it’s someone just taking over you.”
He remembers waking up the next morning to his assailant acting as if everything was normal. “And I was definitely not—everything was not normal . . . I walked back [to my room], I took a shower and cleaned myself, to get all of the griminess just off of me, because I really did feel just used and dirty . . . It was a lot to deal with.”
He admitted to struggling with whether or not anyone would believe him, were he to report the rape.
“Every assembly that you had on abuse or anything like that, it was a man hurting a woman. And that was just so ingrained in me, I didn’t see that what happened to me at first, was rape. I didn’t see that. I was a bit naïve, and it’s unfortunate, because I almost wish that there were more services that catered to men.”
Self-doubt is a common feeling among victims of rape. “Initially in my messed up head, I thought, ‘Maybe I deserved this?’ It’s horrible to think, but I just had all of these things running through my mind . . . I thought, ‘All relationships must be like this, all relationships have this element of, sometimes it’s wanted,’ or maybe I did want it, or maybe I didn’t communicate it well. I was having all of these dumb thoughts that I realize now are extremely stupid thoughts,” he said.
“Sexual Assault Services was one of those things that I never, you know, thought that I would need. How many people go to a college looking for that specifically, or looking for those services specifically? But I have to say that the incident happened a long time before I reported it.”
Cameron took his case through the university judicial process instead of the police for different reasons. One of them being he has not come out to his parents as well as some friends. However, after going through the judicial process, his assailant was found “not responsible.” He firmly believes that the system failed him.
Broadside made several efforts to contact Judicial Affairs by phone and e-mail, but could not be reached for comment by deadline.
“I was treated differently because I’m not a woman. And they couldn’t figure out if what happened to me was consensual or not. And I argued that it wasn’t, and he argued that it was. And that’s what it came down to, and it’s sad it really is sad.”
“There’s no evidence,” he says. “The evidence that was there that was present is now long gone. It’s the mental evidence that’s left.”
Cameron says that he is blessed for having met other survivors. “SAS has been unbelievable,” he says. “I’ve walked into the group and my sex doesn’t even matter. I said to Connie [Kirkland], ‘Will women be worried if a guy walks in there?’ Because they’ve been hurt by a guy—I mean, this is my elementary school, middle school, high school training coming back to haunt me, and she’s like, ‘Absolutely not.’”
Like many other survivors, Cameron strives to keep moving forward in life, asking, “What other choice do I have?”
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