Local Author Unravels Personal History

By Staff Writer Kyle Ridley

Dumfries author Anna Thomas shares the personal voyage of uncovering her past in the memoir Fire and Water: A Safe Journey Through Multiple Personality Disorder. The candid book details Thomas’ 20-year struggle to understand the reason behind her depression and discover that she was a survivor of childhood sexual and ritual abuse.

Thomas, 60, incorporates religion into much of Fire and Water and said her faith helped her realize the “need to face painful feelings” to reveal the truth.

“We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘That’s in the past. Get over it and move on,’” said Thomas. “In order for me to move on, God knew that I needed to go back into my past for a reasonable length of time so that I could directly deal with the issues that kept me in bondage in the present.”

Broadside:
Describe the process of writing Fire and Water

AT:
I began writing Fire and Water in 2000. Material is drawn from entries in my journal and transcribing conversations on to paper from taped therapy sessions. Revisiting notes and listening to the actual sessions was emotionally upsetting. I could only do a little at a time.

Broadside:
Were there any reservations about revealing such intimate truths?

AT:
Yes. Would I be seen as a bad person once my true thoughts, feelings and struggles were unmasked? I had to take that risk because I wanted Fire and Water to be real.

Broadside:
What has been the most rewarding aspect of sharing your story?

AT:
Declaring God’s faithfulness. He supplied me with strength to hang on to life while every fiber of my being was screaming, ‘let me die’ . . . He guided me through the darkness of the past into the light of the present.

Broadside:
What has been the most challenging aspect?

AT:
Accepting the scenes I saw in the flashbacks as truth.

Broadside:
Describe what you mean by “flashbacks” and how they have impacted your life?

AT: 3
Flashback is a dissociated memory that returns to consciousness. It can be a smell, a taste, a sound, a picture, an emotion or all these things together.

Warnings I knew a flashback was about to occur were feeling anxious, panicky, having a sense of doom, increased heart rate, short of breath followed by an extremely vivid picture of a past abusive event that appeared to be happening in the present.

I would be terrified. Other times, I’d have no warnings. Flashbacks would occur anytime, anywhere. Therefore, I curbed social activities.

Broadside:
How did you decide on the title Fire and Water?

AT:
I awoke from a vivid dream referencing Isaiah chapter 43. Upon waking the next morning, I immediately read Isaiah 43. Verse 2 spoke to my heart . . . The manner in which the dream was presented and the meaning behind the words Fire and Water are revealed in the last chapter.

Broadside:
It wasn’t until you were 41 years old that you discovered you were a victim of childhood sexual and ritual abuse. Was there an exact moment of realization or were there pieces you had put together over the years that finally all connected?

AT:
It was pieces put together during counseling. That's when I realized 99 percent of my childhood memories through age 12 are missing. I didn’t realize the feelings I described to my therapist were symptomatic of possible childhood sexual abuse. My therapist never relayed to me his suspicions at that time, however, he did tell my husband. The rest is history.

Broadside:
How has Dissociative Identity Disorder affected your growth and healing? .

AT:
Experiencing DID has given me a great appreciation into the mind’s creativity. I see dissociation as the mind’s immune system or a defense mechanism. Since the child can’t physically escape, the child uses his/her ability to use their mind to create alters to take his/her pain.

It enables a young child to grow up innocent and free from the awful memories that would otherwise present major developmental problems. I now know why I had adopted specific behaviors.

Broadside:
What impact do you hope to have with the upcoming release?

AT:
To let other survivors know they are not alone and that they too can walk out of the darkness. Bring to the public awareness and understanding of the depth of despair, terror, rage and self-hatred that comes from a childhood of sexual abuse and the existence of ritual abuse.

WANT IT?
TITLE: Fire and Water: A Safe Journey Through Multiple Personality Disorder, by Dumfries author Anna Thomas (April 1, 2009)

DETAILS: A “therapeutic memoir” about Multiple Personality Disorder, written from a Christian perspective.

PURCHASE: $14.95 in most bookstores and online

BOOK SIGNINGS:
April 4 from 1-4 p.m. at Borders Books & Music, 2904 Prince William Parkway, Woodbridge, VA 22192

April 18 from 1-3 p.m. at Books-A-Million in Potomac Mills Mall

April 25 from 1-3 p.m. at Borders Books & Music, 1220 Carl D Silver Parkway 22401