Going Nuts for Testival: Annual festival educates and entertains students

Testival, arguably George Mason University’s best and most popular celebration of testicles, returns Thursday for another bout of ball-grabbing and free T-shirts.

Sponsored by the Office of Alcohol, Drug and Health Education, University Life and Phi Sigma Kappa, Testival has been going strong for the past several years and manages to support a very important cause while keeping it all tongue-in-cheek with their catchy slogan, “Check your nuts.”

The festival for testicles will feature such nutty games as Guess that Nut, Balls to the Wall, Testicle Toss, Whack-a-Ball and Balls Bingo.

Exams will be demonstrated but not administered by the Student Nurses’ Association, and those who need practice can use the effective but disgusting Ball Bags, which are replicated testicles in bags of gel complete with those pesky little cancerous polyps and cysts males have to watch out for.

So on Thursday, students walking to and from the Johnson Center might see countless numbers of their peers spending the afternoon squeezing little gel sacks — that is, if they’re not trying desperately to get the limited edition Testival shirts that seem to sell as soon as they open the boxes.

Testival 2008’s shirt featured an assortment of peanuts, while 2009’s displayed a festive squirrel hoarding as many nuts as he could. One can only hold their breath and imagine this year’s.

On top of this, the appropriately named Spunk Buggy will be providing nut-filled cookie goodness to all passing by.

But don’t think Testival is merely irreverent fun only for the guys. All of Mason’s females can learn valuable information on how to check for cancerous growths on their boyfriend’s or husband’s nuts, helping out the opposite sex as well as learning a few things about cojones along the way.

Testival runs for one day only April 29th from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. in the JC North Plaza.

Come one, come all and have a ball.