Not Even Semi-Good

By Broadside Assistant News Editor Dan Abernathy

When will directors and studio executives learn that just because Will Ferrell is attached to a project, that doesn’t mean it will be funny.

Had they, and Ferrell, considered it, moviegoers wouldn’t have to suffer through Semi-Pro, the mainstream latest comedy that, if it had been properly executed, might have offered some much needed comic relief amidst an Oscar season full of demon barbers, oil tycoons and assassins with bad haircuts. Sadly, Semi-Pro turned out to be what critics feared, just another over-the-top sports parody hinged on “save-the-season” plotlines and characters who neither think nor act human (think 2005’s similarly inept Kicking and Screaming).

For Ferrell fans, and sports fans in general, it is especially unfortunate. Patterned after films like Anchorman and Blades of Glory, metafiction that thrives on self-awareness and tempered absurdity, Semi’s premise was promising.

Jackie Moon, played by Ferrell, who happily fulfills the role of owner, player and coach for Flint, Michigan’s 1976 Tropics basketball team, rallies his pathetic squad to survive a merger deal that will send the ABA’s top four teams to the NBA and dissolve the rest. The team’s two directives are to draw fans and secure fourth place in the ABA before season’s end. At the beginning of the movie, the Tropics are, of course, in last place and looking at their game play, even the most causal player doubts their chances. Moon, much like Anchorman’s Ron Burgundy and his quest to thwart career death at the hands of newly-empowered anchorwoman Veronica Corningstone, is not going to go down without a fight, a bear fight. Literally.

What could have been a slapstick-Hoosiers or even a basketball version of Major League instead plays out like a series of skits that are themselves produced, edited, acted and directed as though part of a well-funded student film.
First-time director Ken Alterman, an established executive producer of a dozen projects, including Ferrell’s 2003 hit Elf, shows his love for the 1970s basketball stigma, the clothes, the music and the hair, but his ability to execute this 90 minute script is semi-professional, at best. Lighting, sound and editing problems are evident throughout, and pacing, notably the first act, is as uneven as an all-freshman D-III basketball team.

Pacing problems could have and should have been remedied by the screenwriter of Old School, Scott Armstrong, who has handled even the corniest of stories with more skill, like Road Trip or School for Scoundrels. Here, he saddles a weak concept with useless subplots and seemingly unconnected moments, like a washed-out hippie who wins a shooting contest only to be given an over-sized,valueless check and a confusing love triangle involving former basketball star-turned-offensive and defensive coordinator Ed Monix, played by Woody Harrelson, his ex Lynn, played by ER’s Maura Tierney and her current beau, Kyle, played by go-to supporting comedian, Rob Corddry.

Viewers will find it hard to enjoy the absurdity of Moon’s decision to wrestle a bear, put on alien-like dance numbers and do motorbike stunts over cheerleaders, while Woody Harrelson tries to woo his girlfriend and Clarence “Coffee” Black, played by Outkast’s Andre Benjamin from Idlewild and Be Cool, battles through sportsmanship problems.

Despite Semi’s technical holes, it does offer a few genuine laughs, notably a poker game involving a six-shooter. Corddry’s few minutes of screen time as Monix-obsessed Kyle is also a treat and perhaps the movie’s best performance,.

Besides a few laughs and some clever knocks at ‘70s innovation (pong and the alley oop), Semi-Pro is far less than even its title suggests.