Forewarned About Foreplay
(UWIRE) By Emily Neumann, Daily Campus
So you've been doing it with your partner for a while and although it is probably still fun, routine sex is, well, routine. Getting into a habit of having sex at predictable times under predictable circumstances can really put a damper on your love life, and boring sex is sure to send a relationship down the tubes at lightning speed.
The art of foreplay is incredibly underrated, and it's the first thing to go when a couple falls into routine romps.
"I think foreplay is important. It spices things up," said Chris Hayden, an 8th-semester geology major.
While there may be some small trace of formal pre-sex niceties like kissing or touching, much of that all-important stimulation is thrown to the floor along with the clothes.
"Touching is a form of flirtation," said Ashley Hamel, a 4th-semester undecided major. Even a strong emotional connection can qualify as foreplay. "First, you establish, like emotional contact, then when you go further, physical contact means more," Hamel said.
Even a strong emotional connection can qualify as foreplay. When there's no attempt at arousal, your body isn't prepared for sex - when all is said and done, satisfaction levels aren't where they should be.
Basically, after you've fallen into a rut it can certainly leave something to be desired. When you first start messing around with someone, every single touch sends shivers down your spine. You know what that is? Anticipation. Your body is trying to tell you that it desperately wants to have sex. Once you finally go all the way, it feels great. Then you want to do it again, and again, and again, until all of a sudden, sex loses its spark.
Everyone wants to impress their lover with their skills in bed - after all, first impressions are lasting. But when sleeping together becomes routine, the desire to impress often wanes for one or both partners, and the effect is devastating for the health of a relationship.
The solution? Think back to when sex was new and spontaneous, and not just something you did because its expected. When you first start sleeping with someone, sex is the culmination of a whole bunch of different physical interactions. From a head on a shoulder to a hand on a knee to the first full-on make out, the thought of going a step further was almost as stimulating as actually taking the next step. Think back on how crazy it made you when you did and your partner did everything except sex. Is this foreplay? Absolutely! It's fun to revisit those memories, and it reinforces your attraction to your mate.
Most importantly, make sure that foreplay is a mutual experience.
"I like it, it's sweet," said Mary Hrenko, 4th-semester secondary math education major. "[It makes] you feel special."
It's critical that sex (and all the fun stuff leading up to it) is enjoyable for both participants. People in a healthy sexual relationship don't want to hear "I just want to make you feel good," nor should you feel that you must consistently impress your partner. Attraction should be natural, and the effort to make each other feel good should be mutual. If you're having sex to do it and get it over with, you're having sex for the wrong reasons. A quickie here and there is always fun, but taking the time to make each other want it is so much more fun.