I am Niko Bellic

By Student Media Freelancer Aram Zucker-Scharff

So, at the last minute I ended up getting GTA4. Early on Tuesday, I picked up the last unreserved copy at the local GameStop. Now my mission is to review the game. Of course, with a sandbox-world game like GTA4, this gets a little complicated.

There are two routes. In the first I play through the game as quickly as possible, eschewing side quests and mini-games in a hunt for the spinal story of the game.

The second option is for me to play holistically, and try and hit every possible element of the game.

The truth of the matter is that neither of those options are likely to be like how you play the game, it isn't really how you (the average gamer) are likely to be playing. So I'm going for the happy medium and playing through the game like a normal gamer.

However, all of these options come with one problem. In order to review the game in a reasonable time and still have a life, go to class and pass school, there is no way I can write a review on the completed game, which has an enormous number of play-hours. However, I'm going to do the best I can.

I'm also going to provide a window into the game by blogging it. This way you can see what's going on as I lead up to the review and what happens after the review, as I complete the game.

There's a twist however, I'm going to be keeping the blog in-character.

Be forewarned, as Niko Bellic, I follow the lead of the in-game player character. This means plenty of bad words and objectification of women. Be aware of that before you click through the link. Also--SPOILERS.

So without further delay...
On the Corner of Schafter and Bart St.

My fucking cousin!

So I run over there and he is curled up in a ball while these two Albanians are kicking and punching him in the middle of some basketball court.

My cousin owes their boss, some ass-hole named Dardan, some money. So this Dardan sends thugs after Roman. I too had a situation like this, though, unlike my cousin, I did not actually owe the bastard on my back any money.

So I beat up the thugs on Roman and who shows up? Dardan, a man who cannot do his own work. He is a coward. My cousin yells that we need to catch him. So we drive after him.

I don't know, I think they make cars different here in America, either that or my cousin's car is a real piece of crap. When we were following the Albanian fuck, it was difficult to use. I think I hit some of the people walking on the side, but no one seemed to notice. What a city this is.

We finally catch up to him and I run after Dardan when he leaves car.

Then this fuck goes and pulls a knife on me. The Albanian bastard tries to stab me. He almost kills me too, but I pull the knife away and get him first.

I was blind with rage, I kept hitting after he was gone. No one fucks with the Bellics. No one.

But I am so sick of this bullshit. I'll let my brother rest for a while, he's been hit hard by those Albanians. I need to know what the fuck is going on here. I don't like surprise.