You may know me as the future 800-meter U.S. Olympian in the 2012 London Games, as you may have read in the paper a few weeks ago. While it is quite an accomplishment, considering the fact that I was able to qualify easily, one must ask, “Really? Craigslist?”

Before I go any further, though, please, please tell me that you realized the article published two weeks ago about how I’ll be competing in the 2012 Summer Olympics was completely false. Other than lifting the minivan over my head, that is.