Diary of a People Watcher: The JC Watch Party

By Connect2Mason Blogger Brandon Weathers.

It’s the end of an error and the beginning of change. Say hello to the players who will determine the future of our country. On the conservative side we have the senile Mavericks, Sarah Palin and John McCain. Opposing the red team in a cloak of blue delusions come Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

The real interest this year does not lay in the potential leaders themselves, but the people who cling to their every action. The Johnson Center or JC, as it is commonly known is a melting pot of cultures, people and idiosyncrasies. It is a place with green pride and golden opportunities to watch people make asses out of themselves. It is also the scene for where I make fascinating observations about my fellow Americans.

She wore a shade of red and had a shape that was most familiar. When I recalled the information in my mental database, I found a match. She was just a big as the growth on McCain’s face and was just as red as the Kool-aid man. She scowled around the JC like Dick Cheney and I’m sure she was looking to eat someone’s soul.

My hypnotic fascination of the Kool-Aid girl was broken when I heard a series of clapping. Everyone was so happy when the actors in our play won a state and as I think about the tradition of voting I see Fall Out Boy. I bestowed him this name not because of his looks, but because of his actions. As Iowa falls for Obama, our next contestant falls for the stairs.

He falls, I watch, I write and I laugh. As I jot down my notes, drink my green tea and be pretentious, I think about the election, the primaries, and the endless possibilities for our country due to this years campaign theme.

Lets “change” the Whitehouse, because our candidates can bring us the change we need. So, in the spirit of patriotism, I decided, I too should apply this word to help my fellow humans. Kool-aid girl, here is the change you need. We don’t offset red with more red, so change your sense in style, and its not flattering to have Dick Cheney’s mouth. Looking like you want to eat babies isn’t a way to make friends.

Fall Out Boy, the change you need is, if you can’t clap and walk at the same time please just walk. I don’t want the Fairfax County ambulances to cause traffic when I’m trying to leave. Why should I have to be inconvenienced because you can’t perform two functions at once?

So as I walk towards my car and smoke my cigarette, I can’t help but think that I’m red with frustration, blue because people are stupid, and white because I’m pale. See I can point the finger at myself too!