Possible Smoking Ban on Campus: Students Have a Right to Smoke if They Choose

By William Curtis, Opinion Editor

I can never say which is my favorite, the after-eating cigarette, the while-drinking-coffee cigarette or the after-crapping cigarette. They all manage to calm me down and make everything better. Over the span of time, the sanctity of cigarette smoking was so well-accepted that in a world I can never imagine . . . you could even smoke on a plane during a flight. Now, the times have clearly changed.

First they took regular buildings, then some states took restaurants and bars, and now you want to take away the only thing us smokers have left, the outdoors?

It’s bad enough that we only have 15 minutes to move from one class to another, that certainly isn’t enough time to sit, relax, and have a cigarette when you have to walk all the way across campus just to get to class on time. I mean, why don’t you just outlaw cigarettes all together?

I send these notions of disapproval to the members of George Mason University’s Environmental Action Group, whose action towards protecting the universe one Solo cup at a time are greatly appreciated . . . until you try and take my nicotine away. On their website, an anti-smoking campus ban is proposed on their “Initiatives” page.

This proposal would turn our campus into virtually what Disney World now looks like: strollers huddled in the corner as their stressed handlers pound down their “cancer sticks” in the most minimal amount of time so that their kids can go on more rides in the park.

We know Mason has designated smoking areas – 25 feet from any building – and most smokers abide by these rules.

You have to walk to campus and odds are, you are bound to run into someone who will either be smoking in front or behind you. How difficult is it to deal with the smell for just a few seconds?

We cigarette smokers know that what we are doing is unhealthy, and could possibly give us cancer and other diseases.

I’m pretty sure this is a country that allows us the right to smoke if we like, and therefore, we will do so until we realize that we want something healthier from our lives.

I am not willing to let this campus turn into a bunch of crappy sectioned-off areas where it is only acceptable to smoke. Like I previously mentioned, it is hard enough trying to get to class on time as it is, and this would only eliminate the possibility of a between-class-smoke for more students, as they clearly wouldn’t be able to sit for five or 10 minutes and still make it to class on time.

I would feel sorry for this campus if such a prohibition were made. I mean, can you imagine a campus full of nicotine-deprived students? I can imagine that it would look much like a Britney Spears concert that was canceled just as the curtains were supposed to go up, with rampage and chaos quickly ensuing.

They claim it’s a waste issue? Cigarette smokers aren’t morons; we know how to properly dispose of cigarette butts, and there are smokeless ashtrays all over campus to keep the campus clean. Cigarettes are obviously the only pieces of garbage laying around this campus, aren’t they?

I know how much students on this, or any other, campus love their cigarettes. We’re students, we’re stressed, we stay up late, or procrastinate until the last minute to get anything done. We need our cigarettes, they’re what keeps us going when the world tears us apart. OK, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point.

Either way, I am sure every single cigarette smoker on this campus would agree with me; sign any petition against it, and make sure that any kind of smoking ban never happen on this campus!

What happens when you take food away from a starving community? Chaos. Imagine the hostility that would rise due to such a ban for students? Cigarettes now, then what’s next? Coffee and Starbucks, because the litter of coffee cups is too prominent?

Whether or not I ever decide to quit smoking, I want to know that I will at least have the choice to smoke outside if I manage never to quit smoking.

Can’t you crazy cigarette Nazis be happy with the fact that we no longer have restaurants and bars? A fact that still makes me cringe when I realize I have to go outside because I can’t have a cigarette with my beer or dinner.

We are willing go outside in the cold, we do our best to accommodate you health-savvy morons, so I have to ask you all the same question. When are you going to realize we’ve given you enough of our territory? When will it be enough for you people?